Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Until we meet in heaven

When I did my assignments, suddenly I found that my BlackBerry rang again and again. I had no idea whether it was BBM or the text messages and it really bothered me I checked and read it right away. Something surprised me, a bad news. One of TC members, staffing in Ambon, passed away. He shot to death and got stomach hemorranging. All of us, the students of the year 2011, didn't know about him (maybe one or two knew him, because they were roommates, not so sure yet) at all but we could feel the sadness so much. Soon after that, we came together to the basement for praying him.

The most sadness part was when we knew that he would going to get married with his fiance this coming December. They had engaged and been in the relationship for four years. Can you imagine that? If I were his fiance, I would just gone with him (ahh, so lebay I know, galau eh?) #skip #skip. Our seniors, lecturers and staffs told us about him, Jeffry Siahaan, was a good and a very humble person. Everyone in TC was so felt lost.

On the next day, we prayed together in TC Hall before the class beginning. I saw that all the lecturers cried out and wondered how kind Jeffry was that everyone felt so sad deeply. But in my heart I was amazed in the middle of so many situations in Ambon, he still agreed to teach and serve God with all his might. In the middle of yesterday's pray I was constantly crying. Sad, although I don't know him, he is willing to receive his duty with happiness. If I was in his position when the placement info happened I don't know if I will accept, considering how scary the situation at Ambon is.

I don't know why in the ending of the pray I cried so loud, that my friend hugged me and let me cry while calming me down I remembered when I was sitting with my dad, talking about the scholarship letter I got. There was a lot and has to be red and learned carefully. My dad asked me, "Is it really the call for you to be a teacher? What if you are placed in a small village? Or in worse, on a place with so many conflicts? Never make a decision just because you want to escape from something." That were the questions my dad asked. With my high ego, spontaneously I answered, "Yes I can do it, even if I don't like it, I will keep going." Then my dad said, "Good then, just don't stop. Because if you start something you have to finish it too."

Honestly, knowing about brother Jeffrey made my spirits low. And I thought, "God I can't do it. I can't make it if I was placed in a place like that. I just want to go back to Medan." There is a blitz of regret why I don't think more about my decision. Why can't I think more mature before. But I remembered my mom's face and how she was so happy when I got the scholarship letter. I am happy that at least from economics I can help her. I want to see my mom's smile not only on the beginning but until the end I started it. I will finish it and I do believe God will help me. Amen.

P.S: Get well very soon to me ({})

Golda Regina

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